So, I’ve been feeling less and less and less in touch with the word “genderqueer” over the last year. Something about it just irked me but I could never figure out what.
At the same time, the word “non-binary” seemed to come into common usage, and I realized that I actually like that word far more.
I couldn’t figure out why “non-binary” felt so much better to me than “genderqueer”, though.
And I think I finally know what it is.
I really resent the idea that my gender identity is considered inherently queer just because I don’t identify with one of the binary genders.
I feel like I have a lot more to say on this subject, but since I’m feeling nauseated I’m having a tough time stringing together solid thoughts. I might make a follow-up post later when I’m feeling better.
Is there anyone else out there who feels this way? I’d love to talk about it with someone, if so.
An interesting topic for discussion.
I connected with genderqueer primarily because my understanding of queer was that this meant an umbrella word signifying non-normative identity as considered by my given society (social, rather than essentially so). An identity is considered queer / non-normative depending on social context in my understanding. However, the additional problem with this is it poses a barrier to such an identity ever reaching normative, or even ‘normal’ status, and that there is some reference to or even reliance on what society thinks, which may not be relevant at all depending on the person and situation. I do not identify with radical concepts of queerness as something confrontational or political, so these associations have made me uncomfortable (not when others feel this way, but assumptions about how my identity is). Non-binary gender as a term hasn’t come into currency until comparatively recently, either, so this was not really an option for me to consider to begin with, and now I have to weigh how I feel about the applications in my own identity. Whether a gender could be considered queer, non-binary, or something else depends very much on both context and one’s own personal comfort.
I also have been questioning my use of the term genderqueer.
Recent body dysphoria has made me re-think my own gender identity and presentation (and thus labeling). I honestly think non-binary is such a brilliant term - in itself it is a statement and clearly states its intention. I am against the binary. I do not associate with clearly defined portions of society and the associated expectations and rigid roles.
[personal tangent:] I don’t think I am either gender. I don’t consider my genitals to define my gender. These may be obvious statements to the trans* community, I suppose.. but after feeling tortured for most of my life with the obligation of maintaining within the expected expression of my assigned gender - I STILL from day-to-day feel unsteady or alienated in my chosen non-binary existence. And now of course I am at much more comfortable place in my body because I’m not constrained to one gender.
From now on I think I will stick to non-binary when asked. Gender neutral pronouns as always. And I’m considering slowly introducing the possibility of a gender neutral name to family and friends - Grae instead of Grace, pronounced ‘gray.’
Yeah, this is something that I’ve pondered a lot recently. Being agender, I don’t feel that my gender identity is queer, it’s just nonexistent. I sort of feel like I’m outside of both cis-ness and queer-ness? Because of this, in addition to the obvious aspect of being outside of male and female, “nonbinary” makes sense to me and is the label I feel most comfortable using as an umbrella term. I’m also kind of uncomfortable with being put under the “trans*” label, because I don’t feel trans-anything. I just exist as I am, which happens to be outside of the binary.
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